3038 Miles.

3038 miles. That's how many miles it has took to finally realize what it is I want. I've always been goal oriented since I was a child. I would always set goals for myself and whatever I was into at that time such as reading, jump roping, writing,  etc. And although I never became a pro at any of those, I always enjoyed the challenge and having a purpose in my activities. As I have gotten older I have realized I can not live without goals. I've tried, but it wasn't long before I started to feel like I was aimlessly wasting time, time I can not buy back. I used to envy those people who claim to live as a "free spirit" and "day by day" without any plans. It seemed so stress free and fulfilling but truth is it's just not me. I have a constant fear of waking up one day in my late 30's and realizing that I am in the exact same place in life as I was when I graduated High School. I have so many goals and aspirations that I feel like I have absolutely no time to waste. Although it took me a while, I have learned to accept this part of who I am. It's what makes me, ME and I want to embrace it.  But as always, I keep learning new things about myself, especially this past year. This past year has brought a lot of changes, some negative, some positive and all beneficial. Among those changes was a car accident, quitting my job, and moving twice! It was pretty crazy but all in all it brought me to where I am at this very moment: Guatemala. Relocation to a different country to share the good news of the Bible has been on my goal list for a very long time and I am enjoying every minute of it. Surprisingly, I was very reluctant to pack my suitcase and make the trip out here. Not because I didn't want to, but because I always thought life had to go in a certain order that could not be broken. As I mentioned earlier I've always been a goal oriented person and all my goals always had a certain order. Ideally I thought, " okay, high school, college, job, travel the world preaching, marriage, travel some more as a couple sharing the good news, relocate in a different country, etc" which sounds great, but if I wait for everything to happen exactly as I plan, I will only end up disappointed. I am done with over thinking, over planning and organizing my goals. If I want to get it done then I will just get it done period. When the opportunity comes, just seize it! Who cares what place it falls into the order, life does not care about your order! I'm glad I finally came around with this 'New' concept, it honestly feels like I have broken the chains that were once holding me back. I left my complicated / broken life back in Cali and came to start over in Guatemala. Ditched the 'order' of my goals and I am just taking them as they come. It does not matter what order I get my goals done as long as they get done rather than wait around. Guatemala has been a real eye opener and has reinforced my new "motto" if you will. Thanks to Jehovah God, I have been able to share the good news to hundreds of different people all over the country as well as help people that are victims of poverty. I realize that I am just one person and can't change the world, but Jehovah can and will (Revelation 21:4, Proverbs 37:10). I also realize that thanks to him, I have been able to touch lives without needing a significant others support. I always thought it would be easier to do this kind of missionary work you could say, as a couple. And it may very well be easier, but as a single individual it is not impossible. In fact it's very gratifying to know I am giving the best of myself, and everything I personally can give as Ecclesiastes 12:1 says. It took 3038 miles down south to Guatemala to learn this, but it was worth it! Why? Because as I mentioned earlier I know what I want. I know that it's okay to accomplish your goals as the opportunities come and the order does not matter. Right now I have the opportunity to keep serving in Guatemala and I plan on seizing it! I don't want nor do I have to wait for anyone else to jump on board with me to serve God. If it happens then great, but for now I plan to serve and give as much as I can on my own knowing that Jehovah is always with me. I know for a fact I won't wake up one day realizing I am in the exact same place in life as I was when I graduated high school and I have no one to hold me back. 3038 Miles later and I know what I want :)